More Usefulness

6/30/16 From Marc:

What a day yesterday! Got up at 0530 to get the luggage to JFK airport by 0700 for the elders and sisters going home, then hugs and goodbyes, then returned the rented van, and back to the office at about 0915 (rush hour traffic; JFK only 7 miles away).  Then we spent the morning trying to get the changes from transfers the day before into the system while a stream of elders and sisters were in and out of the office (several families picking their missionaries up, office elders in and out prepping for some apartment moves, the Assistants to the President (three of them this transfer) working to update the church system (IMOS), two sisters waiting for their later flights to Mongolia and Korea (more later about that).  (One of the sister’s suitcase wheel had broken off, and I tried to bond it on late the night before with construction adhesive, but we found today that it didn’t work at all, so I was trying to clean up that mess, too.)  Anyway, just as I got my part of the system updated and was ready to start sending out the 146 email reminders for the monthly vehicle reports that are due on the 1^st, the sisters were weighing their suitcases right behind my desk, and they found that all four bags were overweight! 

Sister Batsuuri’s (from Mongolia) suitcases were only a couple of pounds over, so she was able to adjust and get them down to weight, but Sister Sao’s (Korea) were 74 and 79 pounds, with a limit of 50 pounds!!  I have never lifted suitcases that heavy! By that time, we were less than an hour from when we needed to leave for the airport (did I mention that we had been asked to take them to the airport for their evening flights?), so the stress was rising on what to do.  We found that the overweight fees were $100 per suitcase up to 70#, and $200 each above 70#, but she didn’t like any of our alternatives to get the weight down (even under 70#) so we started to load the car, only to find that there was no way to get all their luggage, them and us into our SUV!  So, we called some elders who work near the office and asked for help.  Luckily they were working nearby, and came right over, and we took two vehicles (one mission car and ours).  We took along an empty suitcase from home, thinking that if they refused to even take the suitcases over 70# (which SLC had told us they would), she could unload a bunch of stuff and we could ship it.  Then, once we found the other vehicle at the airport and parked, I knew we couldn’t wrestle all the luggage in without the elders, so they came in with us to help. We got a suitcase cart because the passenger was the only person allowed to the ticketing/luggage gate, and watched from afar to see if Sister Sao needed to give us stuff, but they did take the suitcases, charging her (parents credit card) $400 for the two bags!  Hopefully, the conversation about the $400 will come after all the welcome home hugs in Korea!! 

Then, we found that Sister Batsuuri was leaving from another terminal ½ mile away, so we needed to move and re-park both vehicles or take the airport train.  After opting for the train, the two poor elders helped us wrestle another set of luggage back into the terminal and onto the train.  Once at the other terminal, we found out that the line for check-in (Aeroflot Airline) was 150’ long, so we got another cart for Sister B., excused the elders, gave them parking money, and let them drive home to go back to work.  Then we waited with Sister B. for another hour or so until she got to the ticketing/luggage entrance, said our goodbyes and took the train back to the other terminal and our car.  Three hours in the airport, and another hour each way for driving, and we got home after 7PM.  We dropped into chairs exhausted and hoped someone would bring us food… no one did, so we got our second wind in an hour or so, and my junior companion volunteered to cook dinner.  An exhausting day, but remember, we wanted to feel needed!!! 

Being Useful

I'm always telling Marc, "I just want to feel useful."  Well, this week I got my wish. I felt useful to the point of exhaustion!

  We had a great day Sunday.  We never know what to expect.  Both of us had pretty great classes.  Marc said he had the best discussion yet in Sunday School.  I can tell by the way his students interact with him that they really like him. They are just not used to having to participating in class.  But Sunday he was able to bring them out of their shells and it went well.  My class went well too.  The Stake Primary President was there so we were hoping the kids would be well behaved.  They were probably the best we've seen them.  I was pleased with the way my class went as well. The girl that likes to give me fits was especially well behaved.  I only had to remind her a couple of times to sit in her chair.  She is the non-member who likes to stand on the piano bench, pace in the back of the room, crawl under the table, etc.  This week she listened and actually asked thoughtful questions about the lessons.  It gave me hope.  I realized before class that I have changed from hoping she wouldn't come to being genuinely glad she was there.  Maybe she could tell?  One important thing I've learned from working with these kids is to just go with the flow and not let chaos and noise stress me out.  

  Transfers was this week.  We couldn't believe how fast they came up.  We feel like we just had transfers!  That 6 weeks flew past.  This is when I felt really "useful"!  We have been super busy all week (my excuse for neglecting the blog.)  I was fairly running all day Tuesday going up and down stairs, setting up tables and chairs in the 3 rooms, feeding missionaries, cleaning up after missionaries, putting tables and chairs away, helping lines of 4 or 5 missionaries at my desk who needed something (remember I wanted to be useful).  Marc spent the day mostly giving driver's tests, issuing tiwi cards (the cards the missionaries use to log in to the small computer box that keeps track of their speed and driving.), getting ready for reports, etc.

  The day after transfers is just as busy.  I'll post Marc's description of yesterday in a separate blog.  It was hectic but fun.  A couple of sisters had trouble with overweight baggage and we took them to the airport not knowing how everything would work out but having faith that it would (it did).  It becomes easier and easier to have faith the more we have experiences where we know the Lord truly is in charge and really does care about our success.

  All in all I prefer the really busy days to the sit-around-looking-for-something-to-do days.  When we met the new missionaries at the airport on Monday I found myself telling them that New York was a great place and that they would love it (as I always do) and, this time, I actually meant it.

Our new chapel to be finished in September.  Parking is under the church.We can't wait.

  

Another Learning Experience

I spoke yesterday in Sacrament Meeting, and it was an interesting experience (as many things in our branch are).  When Brother Novak (counselor in the branch presidency) asked me to speak last Sunday, I asked him the topic and length, and he said, “20 minutes on whatever you feel inspired to talk about.” Don’t know about you, but I hate not being given a topic--I spend half my prep time deciding!  I think we had both forgotten that it was Father’s Day.  Anyway, yesterday at church, I asked him, “Do you want me to sit on the stand” (D. and I had noticed that the speakers usually don’t.)  He said, “Do you want to sit on the stand?” I ended up sitting in the front row with Diane, who was there to lead the primary in a rousing rendition of ‘I’m So Glad When Daddy Comes Home’ in both Spanish and English.  He had told me I was the first speaker (no printed program for some reason), so right after the Sacrament and Primary song I got up to speak, and he whispered to me, “Take all the time you need.  You are the only speaker!”  So, I announced to the congregation that they would have the opportunity to hear my full talk (with the optional stories, too) since I was the only speaker.  (To their credit, most of the groans were silent…) 

After 20 minutes (of a normally 16 minute talk) and still 15 minutes short of the meeting finish time, I was surprised to have a note passed to me saying, “Wrap it up. Time is up. Thanks for speaking!”  I felt bad, thinking the other speaker must have shown up, and I closed up with my testimony.  I was at the end anyway, so I don’t think it too obvious.  Then Sacrament Meeting ended ten minutes early!  (After starting ten minutes late…)  I usually don’t take things too personally, but I admit I wondered if my talk was really that boring or bad…!  Later, I spoke to President DeRosa (stake president, who was on the stand) and he apologized.  Brother Novak is a fairly new convert in his first calling that requires him to conduct meetings, and both the other members of the branch presidency were out of town, and due to his nervousness (with the stake pres. there, etc.) thought the meeting should end at 2:30 instead of 2:40PM.  We then laughed a little bit, remembering that all those words that seem to come automatically from the person conducting (i.e., ”Those who will sustain Brother or Sister… please signify with the uplifted hand.”) don’t come automatically at all!!  It’s all a process of learning, and everyone who has the opportunity has to go through it!  It’s fun to watch people learn and grow, and Diane and I love the fact that this mission experience keeps us learning and growing a lot!!  We Love the Lord and the opportunity to serve in NYC!!!!

Subways and Successes

The weeks seem to be flying by now.  Feels like we just had transfers and now we are gearing up for the next one.  The mission calendar is based more on transfers than months.  These next 2 weeks before transfer should be fairly slow.  Most of our work seems to be between transfers and training (3 weeks after).  

Now that my companion has made me the UAVC (Unofficial Assistant Vehicle Coordinator) he is letting me help with his work more.  Yesterday we drove to Rockawa,y which is east of JFK,

to take a car in to the dealer to have it prepped for sale.  They sell the cars at around 50,000 miles and they are generally in good shape.  Now that I'm a NYCD (New York City Driver) I am able to drive one car while Marc drives one.  Usually the office elders help but the Johnsons (housing couple) have been keeping them very busy installing smoke alarms in all the apartments.  Later this week we get to go to Manaroneck to pick up another new car.  I love going to Manaroneck.  It is sort of a quaint little harbor town north of the Bronx near New Rochelle.  Plus I love to say Manaroneck (accent on 2nd syllable).  It is fun sometimes to get out of the office and do something completely different.  

One of the fun things about a mission is that we are constantly given the opportunity to stretch and do new things we didn't know we could do.  It keeps us from getting mired down in never wanting change.  We never know what to expect when we go to church but have come to embrace the unexpected.  Lead opening exercises at a moments notice?  Sure.  Give a talk about whatever topic you want next week and lead the singing for a month (Marc) besides teaching 2 classes?  Sure, why not?  Lead singing time in Spanish?  No problem (well almost).  

We have learned to not become complacent.  On the way to church on Sunday, I mentioned to Marc that I no longer dread going to the ward.  That was my mistake.  We both had difficult classes. Marc's class was hard to engage after weeks of hard work getting them to participate.  It was the day before the last day of school so who can blame them. 

 I realized my class had been easier the past few weeks because one girl had not been there.  She was back on Sunday.  When I find myself almost secretly wishing the difficult children would stay at home or attend the other class, I remind myself that I'm not here as a missionary to call the righteous to repentance.  And some of these kids really do need to repent.  I have noticed some headway.  Most of the students now bring their scriptures to class and even make me stop while they mark passages.  Last week I was a little annoyed because the new convert was drawing a Disney Princess (very well for a 9-yr-old I might add) on her white board instead of listening to the lesson. I was going to say something to her but decided against it when I saw that she had written "Sister Williams" with an arrow pointing to the picture.   Even the difficult girl has grown some.  She no longer stands on the piano bench or paces in the back of the room or crawls under the table.  She finally has agreed to sit in a chair.  Progress!

I would like to say my Spanish is coming along nicely but it would not be nice to lie.  I do work fairly hard at it though and am hoping to have a breakthrough any day now (ha!)  I do pick up more and more words and phrases during Sacrament meeting though which is fun.

Today was our turn to escort a group of missionaries to the temple.  I love to watch them in action on the subway and wonder if I will ever be as good.  People are always hesitant to talk to them at first but these young missionaries have quite a way of melting the frost pretty quickly.  It is interesting to watch the faces of people when 20 of us get on a train.  Reactions range from "how can I get out of here?" to "who are all these people and why are they dressed up?" to "maybe if I put my headphones on and look at the ground they won't bother me."  We are proud to be associated with these devoted young people who were willing to give up 18 months to 2 years of their lives for the Gospel.

June Temple Trip

A handsome Group

Inundating the subway

Subway at Times Square

Wanted to add a picture of our mission nurse, Sister Petersen.
This picture was taken when we toured the
Growler Submarine.  She is older than us but has more energy.
We park our car behind her house and she feeds us when we
get home from church.  Pretty good deal.  The missionaries
love her.  She takes good care of them.

I needed to include "my view" of my companion
in the office.  Sometimes I just like to look over
and see him there.  And sometimes he turns
around and we chat.

Pictures - Intrepid Aircraft Carrier and Palm Springs

Next to the Growler sub and aircraft carrier 'Intrepid'

We decided the sailors swing through these sub doors a lot faster than we do!

Sister Williams and Sister Marie Petersen inside the submarine

Flying across the breadbasket of America somewhere in the Midwest

Palm Springs California airport at 0500 on 6/7/16.

Three Thoughts and Experiences

1)      Unfortunately, we see some ‘helicopter parenting’ (hovering) in the mission field, too, and it reminds me how important it is to let (make?) children solve their own problems from as early as possible! In one case, a sister was put in a threesome when she first got here, and within the first week her mother wrote an email to the president asking him to change things immediately because “she has always done better in small groups rather than large, and one of the other sisters is controlling/bossy’ (my words).  (The president did not make a change, and that situation solved itself in a week or two later when unfortunately, one of the threesome had to go home for medical reasons. Don’t know if it was the ‘bossy’ one…)  Several weeks later we got another note from the mother, asking us to make her daughter the designated driver, complete with an attachment listing unsafe situations the senior companion driver had put them in, and noting that the junior companion’s requests to get driver certified had been ‘ignored’. (In reality, her area is two hours from the mission home, and rather than spend most of a day for a special trip to the office, her companion was waiting until the next time they needed to come in for another reason.) Most of the items listed on the list of driving infractions sounded a lot like normal NYC driving.  I called the companion who had returned home, to get her unbiased opinion on the issue, and after investigating and consulting with the mission president, we did decide to make a driver change, since it would give the new sister an opportunity to learn to drive here, and hopefully resolve the perceived safety issues.  I had a good private talk with the senior companion to try and head off the relationship issues, and told her to act like it was her idea, but I suspect the strain will still be there.  (I really was proud of her for her willingness to do whatever was needed!) The bottom line is that all these issues could have been worked out by the sister herself, and the solutions would have helped her grow and probably would have been better solutions without mom’s help.  (Plus the fact that this method of working personal issues is now further enabled in the mission field.)  I hope the young sister can overcome it, and get the growth and independence she needs!!  We’ll see…

2)      On Memorial Day, we went to the last 2 hours of our branch activity.  It lasted from noon-4PM, in the parking lot of the church. Most of the food was pretty well picked over by the time we got there (and had been sitting out in the sun for an hour or more), but we had plenty (and didn’t get sick).  I played soccer keep-away with a circle of young men (in my dress shoes, white shirt and tie) for 45 minutes or so and got all hot and sweaty!  The women danced to loud salsa and Latin pop music for well over an hour (some more like two hours; Diane and I commented to each other that in Kent someone would have called the police pretty quickly because of the noise—either New Yorkers are more tolerant, or more used to noise…), and Diane did me proud!  Her knee and feet kept her from dancing as long as she would have liked, but I believe she was the only gringo woman dancing and she still has a great sense of rhythm.  I was proud of her!  They (the branch) really do enjoy each other’s company, and it’s a great lesson to learn from them.  In our home ward, we have many close friends and acquaintances, and we love to be with them, but we tend to rush off after an hour or so to do something else. 

Then we went home and had a BBQ with the senior couples and sister for FHE. I cooked the hamburgers, and they turned out OK, given using a grill for the first time and discovering its characteristics.  We really enjoy sitting around and chatting with the other senior missionaries—so many shared and unique life experiences, and great but vastly different personalities and skill sets (lawyer, janitor, several teachers, nurse, programmer, lifetime church welfare department employee, engineer, etc.)!  The only things that limit how long we sit and chat are comfort (you can only sit so long on folding chairs) and some couples’ commute time home on the subway.  The Palmers live in Brooklyn (45 minute ride SW) and several of the other couples live the same distance east on Long Island. We feel lucky to live just around the corner!  In fact, one of the greatest things about our mission for me is our daily commute—less than 100 steps from our door to the office or Sister Peterson’s house!!  (I really disliked that 100 mile round-trip commute to Everett the last six years of my career at Boeing!)

3)      I’m on a plane now, flying from Palm Springs to NYC, and I'm finding that even the sad experiences on a mission are inspiring! The mission president asked me yesterday to accompany a missionary home, so he would not be alone at any time.  He had to go home early due to some emotional issues (depression I assume—I wasn’t told due to confidentiality).  Turned out there were three elders going home early (which is sad), and we all flew together to Denver before separating to their various destinations.  None of them knew why any of the others were going, but I loved to see them interact and hear their determination to return to the mission field!!  Believe me, there were some long, emotional hugs when we all separated, and I got to be part of it just because I was there! What a blessing!  All I could do in private moments with each of them is remind them how much they are loved, and that mortality often doesn’t go the way we envision it, and advise them to become anxiously engaged immediately and don’t waste time waiting until (… whatever) to get going on what needs to be done.  (When I was bishop, I saw too many YSA’s wasting valuable years waiting until … to get going!!)  In spite of the inspiration I felt, it turned out to be a long couple of days:  Left NYC at 3PM Monday, sat on the runway in Denver for 90 minutes waiting out a thunderstorm, got to Palm Springs at 10 PM (where the elder’s family was waiting with signs and a celebration), got to hotel and bed about 11PM, then up at 4AM to catch the 6AM flight home.  (My eyes feel like ‘burnt holes in a blanket’ as Louis L’Amour would say, but it’s all worth it to serve the Lord in whatever way is needed!) I’ll be picked up at LaGuardia at 4PM, fight the rush hour traffic back to the office, and probably sleep very well tonight!  I love the Lord, and love this work!!  I wish everyone could experience it like we are.  It's different than I though it would be, but it's way better than I thought it would be!